Right Here Waiting Read online

  Her family had a cottage on their property. When she was younger, it was used as a guest house. Her grandparents used to stay in it when they would come for Christmas. She forgot all about its existence until now.

  She was beginning to feel as if she made a mistake when she agreed to go on this ride with Blade. She felt maybe he wanted to do more than just talk to her. If truth be told, neither one could trust the other and the two of them being alone could snowball into a situation she didn't want to find herself in again.

  He was in for a disappointment. There was no way she was going to have sex with any man who thought she was a slut.

  “Blade, why are you bringing me here?” She started to worry.

  “So we can be alone to talk.” She searched the expression on his face for a clue there might be another reason, but she could see none. Still she felt there could be more to it.

  “Can’t we go back to the ranch?" she asked, put off by all the orders Blade made since she arrived back in Idaho. We can always go to the barn to talk.”

  “Oh right, and have all the men know about our personal business? I don’t think so. This is between me and you.” Okay, so maybe it wasn't such a great idea, she thought.

  “I’m sure there are other places we can go.” She twisted in her seat so she now faced away from him.

  Blade stopped the truck in front of the cottage and cut the engine. He turned to her. “I know I have done a lot to make you distrust me, darling. I promise I’ll make it up to you. I don’t care if it takes the rest of our lives.” He sounded sincere, but she still had her doubts.

  She wanted to believe there was a future for them, but they honestly didn't have one. As long as Blade wanted a sexual relationship with her, there was nothing. She wouldn't settle for anything less with Blade than everlasting love and a future, which included starting a family. If he couldn't offer her those things, she passed on having him at all. Having him in her life only short for a short period of time was recipe for a broken heart.

  “I won’t be around long enough for you to even bother trying to make it up to me,” she said at last.

  A sad look settled in his steel gray eyes. “You don’t really mean it.” He looked disappointed, but why?

  “Yes I do. I have a life waiting for me to return to in New York. I can't put off going home any longer.” She refused to let him see how much leaving the ranch saddened her.

  “You can still have a life with me here on the ranch.” She wished it were true.

  “You and I can’t have a relationship, Blade,” she said with a sigh.

  “Says who?” She turned to look at him. How could he even ask her that? He already knew the answer.

  She ignored his question. “Even if we both wanted the same thing in a relationship, which we don’t, I could never commit myself to a man who thinks I’m a slut.” She saw him flinch.

  “I have apologized to you for my words, which I didn't mean. Megan. I don’t know what else to do.” A small part of her wanted to believe him.

  “Sign the document so I can go home.” Why was he putting her through all this over one signature?

  “Is this what you really want, Megan?” he asked, leaning in close to her.

  “Yes.” He backed away from her.

  “I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I can’t do it. I won’t sign anything which will take you away from me.” Now what? she wondered.

  “You’re not making this any easier,” she groaned out of frustration. Why was he being so difficult? It was as if he was following the quote she once saw on a bumper sticker back in New York. He, who has the most toys, wins. He wanted it all. He wanted the ranch, he wanted the blond – not to mention how many other women were on his list as well as her, and he refused to give any of it up. Megan was removing herself from his collection.

  “Neither are you,” he stated dryly. She turned to look away again.

  * * *

  His advances weren’t working. If he were going to win Megan Nelson over, he needed a new plan of action. He wasn’t used to this. Most women, like Shanice, fell at his feet and all but begged him to have sex with them.

  He knew he could have Shanice if he wanted her. He could have her out of her clothes at the snap of his fingers. But he didn’t want Shanice. He wanted Megan.

  What was happening to him? Was he losing his touch? He used to find all the female attention a turn on. Now he wasn't interested in any of them. Megan was the only one who sparked his desire and she was fighting off all his advances.

  It wasn't just sex he wanted Megan for as he wanted all those women for in the past. He wanted to spend a lifetime with Megan. Was it too much to ask for? Was she against commitment?

  She said she wasn’t a slut, which he already knew. He put his foot in his mouth far too many times as far as Megan was concerned. Did he blow what little chance he might have with her? Hell, she was sending him mixed signals. Either she wanted him or she didn’t. It was that simple. She would have to make up her mind soon.

  He glanced over at her in the passenger seat of his truck. She sat with her arms folded across her chest, almost defensively. Why was she trying to protect herself from him? He would never intentionally harm her. From the looks of things though, she wasn't too sure of that.

  He reached over with one hand and gently massaged her shoulder, hoping she would relax. She stiffened under his touch. He remembered how she freely gave herself to him in his bed. He knew it was going to take a lot to repair the damage and this rift between them caused by his big mouth and his hot temper.

  He continued to massaging her. She turned to him with the saddest look in her eyes. It nearly tore him up inside to see her this way. He never meant to make her want to leave.

  A single tear ran down her cheek and she quickly turned away, trying to hide the effect this situation was having on her, but it was too late. He already saw.

  He would need to mend the damage soon, he knew. But what could he do? He would have to talk to Martha as soon as possible. He hoped she would know what to do to help him and Megan get on the right path for a happy future.

  Megan broke the silence, bringing him out of his thoughts. “Can you please take me back to the ranch? Josh and I are supposed to be working on a project for a client.”

  She still wasn’t looking directly at him and he could tell she was still crying. She was too stubborn to let it show though. He couldn’t just leave things this way between them. He needed to think of something to say to her, but what?

  “Megan, look at me, please, he pleaded. ”We can’t leave things this way between us. It’s tearing me up inside because I know I am the cause of your tears and heartache. I don’t know what to do to fix it. Please help me and tell me what I can do.”

  She slowly turned to face him. Her cheeks streaked with tears, which she quickly tried to wipe away with the back of her hand. “I told you what you can do for me.”

  “What you are asking me to do is too much. I don’t want to lose you, Megan. You mean the world to me. I have never felt this way for any other woman.” He knew he sounded frantic, but he didn't bother to hide it.

  “Just take me back to the ranch," she whispered. "I need some time to be alone and think.”

  He reluctantly started the truck back up. Neither said a word on the drive back. As soon as he cut the engine at home, she got out and walked away without a word.

  He watched as she disappeared inside the cabin she shared with Josh. He believed every word she told him and he trusted her, but he didn’t know Josh well enough to trust him. Blade slugged the steering wheel in frustration.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Megan and Josh worked all afternoon trying to come up with ideas to try to promote a new line of clothing coming out in the spring from one of the world's top fashion designers. As hard as she tried not to, her mind kept wandering back to Blade and the words he said to her in his truck before he brought her back to the ranch. It made it difficult to concentrate.

  A pa
rt of her wanted to believe what he was saying was true. Her heart swelled with hope. She was half expecting him to say he loved her. When he never did, her heart sank, and disappointment washed over her. What would life be like now without Blade? She knew she would miss this ranch just as much as she did when she left five years ago.

  They took a break for lunch, long enough for them to each grab a sandwich. They washed them down with iced tea while they chatted about different angles for the campaign so Josh could create a power point presentation of their ideas to be shown to the client. When they finished eating, they got back to work on a layout for one of their ideas.

  An hour later, they were compiling a list of potential slogans when she decided she needed to get some fresh air and excused herself. When she exited the cabin, she found herself wishing she never did because of the scene she saw.

  Blade was walking along the path with the blond attached to his arm. She turned away, refusing to look at them. She could feel Blade’s eyes on her.

  She turned and found herself looking into Blade’s eyes. There was no mistaking the look of hunger showing in them as he looked her way. What was wrong with the man? He was with another woman, yet he was looking at her as if he wanted to get her into bed. Wasn’t one woman enough for him?

  She hoped he wasn’t getting any funny ideas involving the three of them. She wasn’t into that kind of stuff. A lump formed in her throat and she swallowed it before turning away and making her escape.

  She hurried back inside the cabin to get away from Blade. She suddenly wanted him, minus the blond. What was wrong with her? She was never one to weaken to lust. Blade seemed to have this effect on her. She wished desperately she could avoid him all together. It would be best for both of them. She decided to go back in.

  “What’s the matter?” Josh asked at her sudden return. He seemed genuinely surprised to see her back so soon. “I thought you needed some fresh air.”

  “I did. Now I’m ready to get back to work. Where were we?” She wasn't in the mood to talk about what just happened.

  Josh shrugged and read back the last slogan idea they came up with. They would need to be creative to come up with several more ideas to find the right one for the campaign.

  The clients wanted hip and trendy. She wasn’t in the right frame of mind to think in those terms today. It was days like this when she needed to force herself to keep going. Before coming here, she loved her work so much; she never knew when to stop.

  Josh must have noticed the change in her mood since she went outside because he suddenly asked, “Are you okay? Are you sure you don’t need to take another break?” Josh was a good friend and she always enjoyed working with him. It was good to know he cared enough about her to be concerned.

  “I’ll be fine,” she said, trying to concentrate on the job at hand. “Why do you ask?”

  “You just seem real distracted. You acted this way before you went out and even more so since you’ve come back in. What happened out there? Anything I should know about?”

  “I just need a cold drink of water,” she said, excusing herself again. It was more like she needed a cold shower to slow her raging hormones down. There was no time for one though. Besides, if she wanted to take one, she would have to go up to the main house since there was only a bathtub in the cabin. It was tempting since Blade was out, but what if he returned? She wasn't going to chance it.

  When she returned, Josh was getting on the Internet, using the already existing dial up connection, which was slow. He looked up at her when he noticed she returned to the room.

  “I thought I’d email this list to the boss to see if we are on the right track for what the client is looking for and to see if he has any suggestions for us to use.”

  “Good idea,” she said as she sat back down on a chair next to Josh in front of the computer. It was going to be a long day.

  She knew with the slow Internet connection, this could take forever to do. She picked up the tablet and began reading the slogans out loud to him as he typed.

  * * *

  Blade would have loved to dump Shanice on the spot, and take Megan up to the ranch house, and up to his bedroom, even if he needed to carry her kicking and screaming the whole way, just so he could make love to her and prove to her how much he really wanted her.

  He was too much of a gentleman to really do it. He made a commitment to Shanice and he was going to see it through until the end. The last thing he and Megan needed was Shanice running back to Chicago and giving Happy Meadow Ranch a bad name. In the circles Shanice ran with, word would travel fast, and the ranch could lose a lot of business.

  He was glad the riding lesson was over. How would he be able to endure giving her lessons all summer? His hormones sure got him into a fine mess he could not get out of. It sure as hell wasn’t helping him make any progress with Megan, either. To be honest, the whole situation seemed to be coming between him and Megan.

  Being the gentleman he was, he offered to walk Shanice back to her cabin, making sure she made it safely. She clung to his arm the whole way there, acting as if he belonged to her.

  “Please come inside,” she pleaded when they reached her door. He should have seen this coming.

  Blade cleared his throat before he responded to her invitation. “Not now, maybe some other time. I have other plans right now that I can’t change.”

  Her lips formed into a pout. “Not even for me?” she asked, still clutching his arm. He couldn't stand her touching him. If only it were Megan by his side. He would do anything to have it be her.

  “Not even for you,” he said, pulling his arm out of her grasp. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I really must go.” At this point he didn't care if she got upset. He knew she would get over it in no time flat.

  She didn’t look too pleased, but at least she didn’t stop him from turning and walking away. When this day was over, he would need to go into town and have a beer to unwind.

  Blade headed for the ranch house. He needed to talk to Martha. He found her in the kitchen mixing up a fresh batch of biscuits for dinner.

  “I’m glad I found you,” he told her, removing his cowboy hat. He pulled up a chair at the kitchen table and sat down. He motioned for Martha to pull up a seat across from him.

  “This better be important,” Martha said as she washed biscuit dough off her hands at the kitchen sink. When she finished, she dried them on a hand towel.

  “It is,” Blade told her as she sat down. “Megan is insisting I sign the document so she can go back to New York. How can I convince Megan her life is here with me?”

  “You can’t. I know you’re not going to like this, but I think you should sign it.” He shook his head in disbelief.

  Did he hear Martha correctly? Why would she want him to sign it? “I can’t sign it.”

  “Why can’t you? Did you break your fingers and it’s preventing you from picking up a pen and signing it?”

  “If I sign it, I lose her for good.” He felt frustrated.

  “Says who?” Martha demanded.

  “Megan does. She’ll run right back to New York.” This conversation wasn't going as he planned. He thought Martha would help him come up with a plan to get Megan to stay here.

  “Let her go.” He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

  “How can you say that? I can’t just let her leave. I’ll never see her again if I do.”

  “If you never see her, it's your own fault for doing nothing about it.”

  “Wait a minute,” Blade exploded. “I’m not the one threatening to leave, so how can it be my fault if I never see her after she’s gone?”

  “You’re missing the whole point in what I’m telling you. Have you once stopped to think about this? You are asking the poor girl to do all the sacrificing. Don’t you think it’s time you started making some sacrifices of your own where she is concerned?”

  “Are you saying I should leave the ranch behind and go with her when she goes?” Why hadn't he thought of tha
t?

  “It's exactly what I’m saying. Now go call the attorney and set up an appointment to sign the document.”

  Blade got up and went over to the phone. If it meant he needed to move to New York to be with Megan, he would do it.

  * * *

  “I could use a drink,” Josh commented later in the evening. I know there are no nightclubs around here, but is there somewhere nearby where a person can get a drink? I need to unwind.”

  “There’s a bar in town called Harry’s. A lot of the ranch hands go there at night to relax and have a beer.” She remembered as a young teenager how hurt she was when she learned Blade went there to pick up women.

  “Do you want to go there with me? It beats sitting around here doing nothing. There isn’t even anything on television tonight.” She was surprised by the invite since she and Josh never did stuff together outside of work, but there was nothing better to do.

  “Sure, just let me change into a clean pair of jeans and get my purse and I'll be right with you.”

  She went into the bedroom. A night out on the town away from this place would do her some good. It would help her keep her mind off Blade and her problems. Besides, she needed to be around people.

  After putting on a clean pair of jeans, she checked her hair in the mirror and decided to brush it. She washed it this morning in the kitchen sink after returning from her talk with Blade.

  She slicked her lips with a fresh coat of light pink lip gloss before going out to join Josh.

  “Are you ready to go?” he asked.

  “Sure,” she said with a faux smile. She wasn't really happy, but in her line of work, she had learned to play the part well.

  “Should we take my car or your rental van?” Her car was repaired and delivered back to her late that afternoon. She now had the freedom to come and go as she pleased, as long as she returned to the ranch at the end of the day and she did her best to continue helping to run the ranch. She promised Martha she would go over the ranch books the next day on her lunch break. At least there was some kind of work she could do here.